To pay one’s dues: “To earn a given right or position through hard work, long-term experience, or suffering”.
That sure sums up the phase I’m in right now. This journey sure is full of highs and lows. I knew it would be, which is one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place. It’s easy to take for granted the things you already know and forget about all of the blood, sweat and tears it took to learn it in the first place.
I’ve tried to be open and honest about this process for your sake and mine. I last blogged about the valley I was in a week ago, and I’m happy to say that things are looking up, thanks in large part to the encouragement many of you have given me.
The difficult fact is that I’m just living through the phase where I have to pay my dues. I’ve been here many times before:
- In leadership I’ve had to work hard and be patient to build true respect and trust among those I lead.
- When learning how to design I needed to spend hours drawing sketches that just ended up in the garbage before I could show off a finished piece.
- When carrying that skill over to the computer I had to spend countless hours experimenting with tools in Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign and learning to be nimble and expressive with a mouse!
- When I wanted to build websites I had to come home from my day job and work evenings practicing HTML and CSS. HTML is so simple now, but still felt daunting at the time.
- Then when I tried my hand at some JavaScript and PHP programming I often felt lost and alone. I was lucky enough to have one friend per language that I could turn to.
We’ve all had these kinds of experiences. They’re hard, they make us question ourselves. We ask things like: Is this possible? Is this really for me? Is this worth it? How much longer will it take before I “get it”?
When I was young and single I had more time on my hands, I had very few responsibilities and distractions. These questions weren’t so bothersome, but since then the the price of pursuing my interests has doubled, and I don’t just mean financially. This isn’t so surprising, but it is an adjustment.
There is a cost, and I am paying it. But this really is something I want to do, and nothing worthwhile comes easy.
